random roids

party thief monkey adoption

years ago i was at this huge party. this party stood out due to the massive fight that insued in the living room with about 9 plus pillows. that was fun and harmless. i played this dumb alcohol related game which i would not normally play but since my buddy seemed like he made it up to get these girls drunk, or maybe just to get us really drunk? either way i must have been winning because i was trashed. in my drunkin haze i did something i would never have done if i had been sober. since we were playing this silly game in the kitchen i had noticed a "set" of smiling monkey salt and pepper shakers on the window sill. i found them quit amusing. so guess what i did? yes. i stole one. just one? sound drunky. i stole from some random persons house. so shitty. i would never do this. actually i have one other time at a party.
i, once again was in a kitchen at a party, bored, when i had notice a altoids tin. i thought to myself, i could use fresh breathe right now. plus it may fill some bordem. well to my surprise the tin was filled with kind bud. which at the time i hadnt smoked a lot of that due to the fact i was poor and could barely afford regular weed. so what did i do? took half the tin and left the rest. shitty i know. well back to the smiling monkey salt or pepper shaker. yes i put salt or pepper in my pocket. i dont know which one it was because they weren't filled. obviously someones collection. so the party, parties on. the next morning i woke up in a girlless bed, head feeling like cinder blocks piled on top and like someone had shit in my mouth. i dont drink vodka anymore.
well when i decide to go eat lunch with a friend i put my coat on and reached in my pocket and felt a cold, hard, ceramic lump. when i pulled it out, my brow went into a v-shape of confusion. then i pieced together what i did. after realizing this i noticed also that this lonely monkey was NO longer smiling. i truely felt like a dick on top of feeling physically crappy. upon my lunch i processed this problem. i decided i have to give it back. first, because i stole from some random kind people that let me party at there house and drink their beer and alcohol. second, because this monkey was happy with it's buddy on the window sill. my plan was to leave him on the porch with a note explaining what i had done and how terribly sorry i was. at this time i didnt have a car. only bike and public transit. the party was pretty far from my place so i just decided to do it later that week. about a week to a week in half later i went to the house, paper and pen in backpack to write my sincere apologies. well when i approached the house it looked slightly different. what was apparently different was that there were no curtins or anything else there. they moved? they moved. yep, they moved, that's why they had the party. in addition to that none of my friends really knew who's party it was. friends of friends of friends. well. that was about 10 yrs ago, and yes, i still own this monkey. still sadden by his separation and my shittiness. i can only assume he has had a better life with me. and his salt friend was destroyed in the move or just not looked upon from that point on as anything worth a damn. but that's just a selfish way of looking at my disappointing immoral behavior. i have never stole a single thing from a person since. it's rude, wrong and you could possibly put a wrinkle in time.

i still remember the first day i stepped onto a skateboard.
it was a off and on again rainy day in germany in the fall of 1986. i was staying the entire weekend with my buddies Tommy and Johnny(brothers). i stayed at their house the weekend to play Dungeons & Dragons. i got bored playing 9hrs straight with my second level wizard elf thief that was getting beat up by a dragon, sexy demon or whatever the fuck. i had notice a skateboard in the corner of the room and asked if they ever rode it. they replied, sometimes. i told them i have never ridden one and wanted to go outside and try it. it was sprinkling. enough for a jacket. which didn't matter because we may have been out there sliding around, falling off the board, rolling off curbs for 3 plus hrs. we shared one board and were soaked from head to toe. i can assure you i didnt much care for playing D&D the rest of the weekend. i went home after that weekend was over and asked my mom for a skateboard. she didnt seem into it for fear of hurting myself and that we didnt have much $$$. after a few weeks of me constantly asking and doing a great deal of chores to follow, we went to sports store to have a look. she suggested we buy a cheap one. for maybe fear that i wouldn't be into it after 3 weeks in. i was not to concerned with what i was riding so i bought a generic veriflex leeches skateboard. it had some lame leeches in swamp weeds are something. but i thought it was bright and colorful. i rode the living shit outta that thing. all my toys went to the back of the closet. boy scouts didn't seem that important anymore. what little video games we had and cartoons became 2nd to skateboarding. even tommy and johnny fell shortly out of my life. but skateboarding was, has and still apart of my life. no matter how banged up or old i get i will keep on rolling. no matter if it's down the street to grab some beer.

when i was a kid my dad told me to jump off the side of the couch and he would catch me. i, being a innocent child, joyfully leaped to my fullest potiental. in mid flight my fathers open arms fell to his side and his body slid back far and unreachable. i fell to the livingroom floor as if ready to make snow angel in the carpet. i cried out loud and looked up at him sadly. he replied with, never trust anyone.